A Collection/Memoria/Excuse.

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Posts tagged with "Thoughts"

Interesting developments

So. I made friends with a guy at the bar. He turns out to be a bartender aswell. A gods bartender, no scratch that; an exceptional one. We’ve gone on a few nights out an we’ve talked cocktails and spirits. He then told me that I am the only person he’s met in Dubai that he could genuinely trust (same line my current manager said before hiring me)

He told me that night that I should go work in Copenhagen, the money and work is perfect. But now he is leaving Dubai to go home.

And from there he is going to go for a bar manager position in New York.

I have a feeling this could be what I’ve always dreamed of: Working as a professional bartender in New York.

If I got the chance I would jump at it, with two hands.

Dreams do come true.

P&L - JM

They’re all pretty.

Recently I have been called many a manor of things by people from different walks of life.

For example:
Girl at the bar: “you are a cunt! But you are the best bartender in the world though. So, I think you’re pretty safe.”

My ambiguously gay brand manager of my work: “john I love you. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to work in a toga? I’m just going to stand here and admire the view.”

My roommate: seriously John, I have almost seen your penis in action twice in 24 hours! Once when you were Skype sexting and once with an actual girl in the bed! I’m actually rather impressed.

Another girl at the bar: (after hearing me sing behind the bar) “omg I love your voice! (turns to her friends) do you think he’ll go home with me?”

And they say Dubai is a Muslim country. It isn’t it is basically a huge desert brothel.

P&L - JM

P.s. yes another girl, I most definitely would have.

Though I try, I can’t be left to myself.

Perhaps this is why I shouldn’t be left alone. Things just go from bad to complicated and then bad again.

I’m now seeing two women. One at work and one who came into work. Spectacular.

One is crazy hot, I mean like, she should be in bikini modelling. The other, crazy. But that is exactly how I like it I suppose.

I hate that I can go to see one whilst the other is still in my bed.

It’s not something to be proud of. I judge people who just sleep around for the sake of it and I’m becoming one of them now. A hypocrite, I know.

Perhaps nothing I hold dear matters in the grand scheme of things.

P&L - JM

Longing.

I miss.
I miss this and I miss that. Not in the standard definition though, more I miss seeing it (so it might irrevocably be the correct sense) in the way that I can see by the way someone walks what they are thinking and or feeling.
But I can’t do that here.

All the women here are beautiful, but uninteresting. They have incredible bodies but are lacking in the fundamentals of being intriguing.

Sure it could be said that because I’ve been with a few of them the same is true of me. Perchance. Then I am as sick and boring as the rest of them.

I miss good connections. I miss spending a night when it meant something, the girls are altogether too easy and numerous in Dubai.

I know that I do not need that sort of connection out here, a lasting bond or label of any sort.

But it would be nice to have captured it in a bottle for time like these.

Enough of my ponderings. There is drinks to be made…

P&L - JM

May 7

I have found love again.

And it in small, expensive plastic figures. That don’t even come assembled.

May 1

The plan.

So, in Ramadan I get 3 weeks off. So I’m going Istanbul on the way back to London, meet some mates, and see some awesome things for 2 days.
Then I’m are going to Stockholm for a weekend to party with some friends, and see some sights.
Then on the way back to Dubai, I’m going to Moscow with some other bartenders and have one final shindig in the city for a few days aswell.

Then it is back to Dubai to continue working…. For a while.

P&L - JM

Great, I’m ill 3 days before a test. I think my body is becoming self aware…

Apr 9

If I see another fucking post about how to be happy or how to follow your dreams, I’m going to safely assume that you don’t have a job, or have ever lived anywhere other than your parents.

Just wait, your dreams will die. Pessimistic as it may seem. Sadly one day you have to grow up, and that is not just moving out. It’s about the realisation that you don’t get what you want, and what you wanted to be in school isn’t what you’ll be.

Get ready to grow up.

P&L - JM

Apr 9

Convincing yourself an action you’re doing is for the best, is one of the hardest challenges you’ll face.

In Confidence.

I have been reading more. I’ve always aspired to be an intellect, not considered as one. As people behave differently when you know that you know all they’re thinking and their troupes inside and out.

But at the same time as I relearn my individuality, I worried that I would lose my caring and empathetic nature. And to a certain extent I have, but that extent is being tested as I always worry about that which I don’t ‘have’ to worry about. It isn’t my place to worry about. Alas, I cannot help it. I do worry, against my highest motor functions, I do worry.

Did I break something? Did I ruin it? Thinking about it (because what else can I do?) I probably did, but I can’t know until I hear it said or see it, and I can’t do either from fear or it forever remaining destroyed.

I’m sorry.

P&L - JM